Today’s random thought:

Dating is when you pretend you’re someone you’re not, to impress somebody you don’t even know.

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Abruptly, the girl stopped the boy dead in his tracks. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After the obligatory cigarette, the boy sat in the driver’s seat, staring out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.

‘This girl on DateLatin.com writes in her profile:

This year will be running 2 marathons, and a kayaking to Costa Rica. I also climb, scuba, ski, and love to mountain bike ride.

Damn, why aren’t there any regular girls who just like do girlie stuff like go shopping while I’m watching a football or basketball game?

I met this girl off Joanne off Casaul Dating she seemed nice enough. We had dinner a few nights ago.

Conversation was just not interesting me at all, and she wanted to go a bar after our meal, I said I I’m tired lets just hang out at her place. She said okay, but when we got there she said goodbye and left the car real fast. So I said screw it and went to a bar I knew my buddys were at.

The next day this chick called to tell me she saw me go to the bar after I dropped her off. I said yeah I was there, and said I’m busy I gotta go, and never called her back.

Yesterday I was having drinks with a couple friends. Joanne called me on my cell and asked where I was. I told her. Big mistake! She showed up. We all chatted for a while. She was a little jealous of the girls at the table. To ease the situation, three of us decided to head to another bar where Joanna’s friends were. A group outing seemed okay. After a few beers, Joanne’s friends wanted to head to another bar. My friend Steve and I said we would meet up with the girls at the next bar a little later in the evening. We took a detour to the next bar, by dropping by the bar we started at. Getting confused yet? Not two minutes after we walked into our original bar, Joanne showed up and started yelling at me. How dare I make a detour he was shouting. WTF, it isn’t as though we said we would meet them right away. She hadn’t even gone to the next bar. She either followed us or just knew where I was going and wanted to cause a scene. The girl is wacko. We laughed and snuck out the back door. Joanne was still there looking for us. She then proceeded to text me every 5 minutes for the rest of the night. I was like this girl is Psycho. She still called me all day and e-mailed me. Crazy chicks out there!

Well, it’s the first of the month, hopefully August will give me some good dates, or  at least ones I get a story out of.

Last night I tried out some Under The Bed Restraints. I never tried this kind before and it was cool, like something out of a movie. The one I got was simple to install, I just threw it under the mattress, which was alot easier than when I use to tie rope to the 4 posts of the bed. I hid it under my mattress and lured my girl to the bed without her knowing it was there. After I tied her up I used the Afterglow Candle, which when melts becomes an awesome high-slip massage oil. It was fun, when I poured it on her she would scream a little (doesn’t burn her), and since she was tied up she couldn’t grab it.